Update on Parker man

Well after 5 weeks Parker finally made it in to see the ENT Doctor about my suspition that he may have a hearing problem. Them darn specialist sure are hard to get into. We had to cancel his first appointment that I had to wait 2 weeks for because he had the flu, then I had to wait almost another 3 weeks to get him in again!! So anyway we first went to see the audiologist who did a test called a typanigram and right away she told me that his readings were way off and that he wasn't hearing hardly at all. Then I got in to see the Dr. who said that he had fluid in his ears, but not enough to cause such a bad reading on the test he had done. So he starts telling me what it could be and what my options were, which basically ranged from sending him to Devos, or having him put in tubes right away or to just remove the wax in his ears and see if that helps the fluid clear on its own and retest him in three weeks. Needing some time to let the whole thing sink in I chose the least invasive. He cleaned out his ears and I could not believe what was in there! When he was done he said that he didn't even realize how much hardened wax was in there. He said that sometimes that much wax can prevent the flow of air between the outer ear and the middle ear and cause a thick fluid to build up. So now we just wait and see what happens. The Dr. didn't seem to optimistic that it would clear up on its own and that he would have to do tubes and that he might even have to have hearing aids. But I don't know if its just wishful thinking or what but I am noticing an improvement already in him. He actually responds to his name, interacts more with other kids and has even picked up a few more words. (Which had previously been two, uh-oh and bye) Also it was so funny because he has this little puppy vacuum that he got for Christmas that he plays with all the time. When you push it it starts to make a vacuuming sound. This weekend he went to play with it and when it turned on he stops, looks totally surprised like he had no idea that it even made a sound. He looked to me, then looked back at the vacuum as if to say "hey check this out mom!!" and just started laughing.


Heres a picture of him from tonight with marker all over his face,doing his favorite past-time, getting into everything!!

Future Dr. Dre back-up dancers LOL!!

"The few, The proud"

In a previous post I mentioned how it is so hard for me to believe that my "baby" brother is getting so old. I'm sure I feel this way because of our age difference and that I can remember so vividly when he was born, helping take care of him. (He seriously had to be the fussiest baby ever!!) Now he is graduating from high school in just a few short months. As some of you know already, for some time now he has been contemplating joining the marines. When I first heard this I was in total shock. Can he seriously be old enough and mature enough to make such a life altering decision? Doesn't he know that we are in a war right now? After much thought I have come to realize that yes he most definitely is old enough and mature enough and as much as we would like to keep our baby right here in little old Whitehall, he has made a very mature and informed decision. A decision to serve his country. He made his decision final this past week when he went to Lansing and did all the necessary testing and interviews and was sworn in as a United States Marine. Although I am still scared to death for him and we will miss him terribly, I am also so proud.

Laugh of the day- AAA batteries

This is one of those stories where you begin to chuckle....then find yourself laughing out loud.

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this...Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....?? 'WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME!!!Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.? ? All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it master,' reasoning that a one- second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . .HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner , then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again.I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, 'Do it again, stupid, do it again!'Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three-second burst would be considered conservative?SON-OF-A-... That hurt like **% !!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles! I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!! Still in shock! P. S. My wife loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!