Like me, some of you are going to need this down the road!!

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME_____________________________________DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT__________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #________________DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No If No, explain:__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married ______________________________If less than your age, explain:________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D . A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?__Yes __No
(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? _____________
pastor? _____________
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want to be shot would be:______________________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:______________________________________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the:______________________________________________________________D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:______________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:______________________________________________________________
F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
_________________________________________________________Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
_______________________________ ________________________________Mother's Signature Father's Signature
______________________________________________________________Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman
Thanks